The Best Albums of 2015

Guys! There are a record 50 albums on the list this year! That’s an impressive output. There was a great record (on average) out just about every week. There was vanishingly little good country music (there’s a bit on the list, and a handful of records – Jason Isbell, Dave Rawlings, The Honeycutters, Lucero – that didn’t quite make it), but that would’ve just made the list even longer. Better luck next year, country music! Also, I’m fairly certain that I wouldn’t even know how to evaluate the Sleater-Kinney album fairly. They’re still my favorite, it’s a great record, it’s #1 on principle and on merit. Oh, and I pulled the list out to see where it would fall, and if I included records I thought were less-than-great, Adele would’ve come in around #63. So that answers that question. As always, these are in argument-free order of quality. Please to enjoy.

  1. Sleater-Kinney – No Cities to Love
  2. Oneohtrix Point Never – Garden of Delete
  3. Death Grips – Jenny Death
  4. All Dogs – Kicking Every Day
  5. Prurient – Frozen Niagara Falls
  6. Kowloon Walled City – Grievances
  7. Vince Staples – Summertime ‘06
  8. Pleasure Leftists – The Woods of Heaven
  9. Kendrick Lamar – To Pimp a Butterfly
  10. Wrekmeister Harmonies – Night of Your Ascension
  11. Bjork – Vulnicura
  12. Wilco – Star Wars
  13. Dan Deacon – Gliss Riffer
  14. Busdriver – Thumbs
  15. Godspeed, You! Black Emperor – Asunder, Sweet and Other Distress
  16. Micah Schnabel – Not the Boy You Used to Know
  17. Merzbow, Gustafsson, Pandi, Moore – Cuts of Guilt, Cuts Deeper
  18. Helen – The Original Faces
  19. Lightning Bolt – Fantasy Empire
  20. Low – Ones and Sixes
  21. Earl Sweatshirt – I Don’t Like Shit, I Don’t Go Outside
  22. Courtney Barnett – Sometimes I Sit and Think, Sometimes I Just Sit
  23. Cloakroom – Further Out
  24. Matana Roberts – Coin Coin Volume 3
  25. Doomtree – All Hands
  26. The Body & Thou – You Whom I Have Always Hated
  27. Cavanaugh – Time & Materials
  28. Aidan Baker – The Confessional Tapes
  29. Carly Rae Jepsen – Emotion
  30. Leather Corduroys – Season
  31. Punch Brothers – The Phosphorescent Blues
  32. Ratking – 700 Fill
  33. Caspian – Dust and Disquiet
  34. Colin Stetson & Sarah Neufeld – Never Were the Way She Was
  35. Deafheaven – New Bermuda
  36. Rae Sremmurd – Sremmlife
  37. Kamasi Washington – The Epic
  38. Oren Ambarchi & Jim O’Rourke – Behold
  39. Mark McGuire – Beyond Belief
  40. Protomartyr – The Agent Intellect
  41. Inventions – Maze of the Woods
  42. Arca – Mutant
  43. Maserati – Rehumanizer
  44. Jefre Cantu-Ledesma – A Year With 13 Moons
  45. Heems – Eat Pray Thug
  46. Heart Attack Man – Acid Rain
  47. Marriages – Salome
  48. Heather Leigh – I Abused Animal
  49. Merzbow & Xiu Xiu – Merzxiu

50. Tough Old Bird – The Barn Sessions

The 2015 Goodreads Choice Awards

So there’s not really a show with the Goodreads Choice Awards, but I thought you little lambs would still like to know the truth about them, since the “Choice” being made here comes from us, the lumpenproletariat who read a book and immediately file it away with a star rating so that we know where it lands in our own personal hierarchies, and also so that other people will see that we totally like that one thing more than that other thing. It’s useful for knowing how your friends feel about stuff, and also pretending to feel differently about stuff than you really do!

The ability to do this in public is truly for the best in the best of all possible worlds.

Unlike the Spotify list presented earlier, the Goodreads list as a curated reflection of the person: you do, after all, choose not only what to tell Goodreads you’ve read, but also how you feel about it. Where Spotify’s play counts represent our immediate, un-hide-able id, Goodreads is our highfalutin’ superego, reporting not our pleasure but the manifestations of our pleasure that we want other people to be able to see.

The list itself consists of, like, a million nominees in each of a dozen genres (or pseudo-genres). I’ve elected to delve into the meaning of only the topmost in each category, mainly for the purpose of not spending the rest of my life writing this article. But you deserve to know, so I’m here to tell you.

Picture Book
WINNER: Drew Daywalt & Oliver Jeffers, The Day the Crayons Came Home
WHAT IT IS: A picture book about a kid who rescues his crayons, systematically (I guess?). His crayons, in the interest of disclosure, are in a particularly tragic set of perils. Pretty pictures though,.
WHAT IT SAYS: That we’re fine with encouraging children to grow attachment feelings to their crayons, even though the nature of crayons is their temporariness. In fact, children, the crayons you love the most are the ones you wear down the quickest until they are no longer suitable for use and are in some very grave peril indeed. This time, though, it is not peril from which you can rescue them. Good thing you learned that they were thinking, feeling objects. No, of course you can’t have a funeral for brick red. You’ll just have to learn to color Superman’s cape a different color, even knowing full well that it will not be right until you replace the crayon entirely, which necessitates buying a whole new box and, therefore, throwing out the neglected, unloved crayons you weren’t using anyway. They will never, ever come home, those crayons. Not ever. Sleep tight!

Middle Grade & Childrens
WINNER: Rick Riordan, The Sword of Summer
WHAT IT IS: The first of a new series of books about the children of gods, written by the guy that writes a whole bunch of these things.
WHAT IT SAYS: The appeal of these books, I can imagine1, is about as immediate as it gets: everyone would love to have their problems explained away by literally being superhuman. We all want to be the children of gods. Although the children of Norse gods would probably a little bit less….fun.

`1 I haven’t read The Sword of Summer, but I’ve read a whole pile of Riordan’s other books, and I have basically nothing bad to say about them. They’re fun, and it’s a shame what happened to the movies.

Young Adult Fantasy & Science Fiction
WINNER: Sarah J. Maas, Queen of Shadows
WHAT IT IS: The fourth book in a seemingly deathless series about revenge and stuff.
WHAT IT SAYS: That the young adult loves really complicated revenge fantasies, I guess. This probably makes them the easiest group to get away with upsetting, since their revenge would have a lot of moving parts and unnecessary family members and everyone would have, like, fifty names.

Young Adult Fiction
WINNER: Jennifer Niven, All the Bright Places
WHAT IT IS: It shares dynamics between the main characters with About a Boy (the book more than the movie2) and Harold and Maude, and it’s fine, but also: it seems to be contractually obligated to mention John Green when you talk about it, because it’s basically Another Fart in Our Different Car. Soon to be a major motion picture starring Elle Fanning!3
WHAT IT SAYS: It says that if children are learning the importance of carpeing some diems via their untimely demise we will be there. In apparent droves. Or at least we’ll tell the damn internet about it.

2 also this is a reminder that there was a tv show. Like. Earlier this year, even.
3 this is not only not a joke, but it’s how the Goodreads summary ends.

Goodreads Debut Author
WINNER: Victoria Aveyard, Red Queen
WHAT IT IS: A lady has a power or inner strength or something that enables her to rise out of her humdrum existence in a world strictly divided, Brave New World-style. I’ll cop to not knowing very much at all about this one, guys. Best case scenario is that it looks like it could be a sort of political-high-fantasy adventure-type story (not unlike what Riordan is doing a few categories ago, maybe?), worst case scenario is that the world has a bunch of these stories already, and while everyone should get to tell the story they’re telling, it’s awfully hard to make any one of them stand out.
WHAT IT SAYS: That we still all want to be fancy special people, delivered from drudgery by nothing but a quirk of our birth.

4 I think? Although, like, a fantasy Brave New World.

Poetry
WINNER: Trista Mateer, Dogs I Have Kissed
WHAT IT IS: Poems. Formally dull, with subject matter that can be found in basically any volume of poetry anywhere. Trista Mateer is what I think of when I think “stock-model, nothing-at-all-special” poet. Which I guess means that it makes sense that she’s such a common denominator among the Goodreads reviewers.
WHAT IT SAYS: That Goodreadsers aren’t as sure of their opinions as they’d like to be – there’s a sort of sense that you have to “get” poetry5, and Mateer is clearly “good” in as close to an objective sense as possible, so it’s a good, safe bet to give it a high rating. And we love a sure thing, don’t we?

5 this is very much a complaint for another time, but let me assure any of you reading this that think you don’t: you get poetry in the same way that you get movies or spy novels or whatever. If you don’t respond to it, that’s not necessarily a failure of cognition. Now go forth and stop pretending to like this stuff.

Graphic Novels & Comics
WINNER: Brian K. Vaughan & Fiona Staples, Saga
WHAT IT IS: Probably the best comic series running6. Epic space fantasy about some parents and their kid, a bounty hunter with the coolest cat ever, and also some shit that’s seriously weird.
WHAT IT SAYS: Generally (as I’m sure you can tell) I’m disheartened by the popularity of things in the literary world, and it says that even occasionally public taste lines up with quality in a way that isn’t soul-crushing.

6 It’s worth pointing out that Lumberjanes and Rat Queens, the other two close contenders for the title, were also nominated. So good on everybody all around.
Food & Cookbooks
WINNER: Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Dinnertime and then the subtitle goes on for quite some time.
WHAT IT IS: The latest in the Pioneer Woman cookbooks. I don’t use them (I liked her recipes years ago, although whether that’s because I’ve changed as a cook or she has is anyone’s guess), but some people do? I don’t know a lot of people that are enthusiastic. I’m sad that The Food Lab sits at the bottom of the nomination stack.
WHAT IT SAYS: That people like recipes written by people they can see on tv. It also says that Ree Drummond has done a really, really good job building a brand.

Science & Technology
WINNER: John Hargrove & John Chua-Eoan, Beneath the Surface what is it with really long after-the-colon subtitles this year? Jeepers.
WHAT IT IS: Sort of a woodpulp-based companion to Blackfish (which is actually part of the nine-million word subtitle7), this is less a polemic and more a meditation on the part of an animal handler who had a change of heart.
WHAT IT SAYS: That we all feel pretty terrible about what we’ve done to captive cetaceans, honestly. That shit is brutal.

7 you know I think I’ve officially written more words complaining about the length of the subtitles of these books than are actually contained in the subtitles? I have no idea what I’m trying to prove here.

History & Biography
WINNER: Erik Larson8, Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of the Lusitania
WHAT IT IS: Narrative historical writing by the guy who does that basically better than anyone else going. This one is about the Lusitania, which sank under mysterious circumstances. It also has a pretty cool cover photo. That’s a snazzy photo.
WHAT IT SAYS: That people love true stories presented like fictional stories. Boy howdy do people love ‘em.

8 this is deeply unimportant, but I spelled “Larson” wrong twice while I was typing this out. Paid for by the Council to Standardize Scandanavian Last Names Plz.

Memoir
WINNER: Connor Franta, A Work in Progress
WHAT IT IS: The memoir of a YouTube celebrity. The existence (not to mention popularity) of this book is enough to make me feel like Abe Simpson yelling at clouds, but here it is, the “best” according to Goodreads users, in the memoir category, a genre which I am not exactly charitable toward in the best of times.
WHAT IT SAYS: Well, my reaction to it says that I am a cranky old person. The popularity of it says that there’s a lot to be said for YouTube celebrity, I guess. At least that it’s a reasonably good way to build a lucrative brand.

Nonfiction
WINNER: Aziz Ansari & Eric Klinenberg, Modern Romance
WHAT IT IS: Something of an advice/self-help book co-written by a comedian9 and a sociologist about romance in this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’.
WHAT IT SAYS: Well, beyond saying that Aziz Ansari has, essentially, a perfect batting average for “stuff with his name on it”, it also says that people like humorous romantic advice more than anything that could’ve been here that was more serious10.

9 who had a pretty creatively remarkable year, all told
10 Between the World and Me, Missoula, H is For Hawk and Guantanamo Diary all sit in the “not as good” pile below Modern Romance

Best Humor
WINNER: Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me?
WHAT IT IS: Mindy Kaling’s second book. This is one of the times when the Goodreads people got it right, as even the other not-awful books (such as Felicia Day’s You’re Never Weird on the Internet, or Patton Oswalt’s Silver Screen Fiend) are featherweight joke-receptacles. Why Not Me? at least ends up dealing with a lot more stuff effectively.
WHAT IT SAYS: That Mindy Kaling is funny enough that in this one category the best and also most “serious” (perhaps ironically) book is the one that rose to the top.

Best Horror
WINNER: Dean R. Koontz, Saint Odd
WHAT IT IS: Oh, go fuck yourselves, Goodreads voters.
WHAT IT SAYS: That Goodreads voters should go fuck themselves. Slade House, Thicker Than Blood, The Annihilation Score and Day Four all sit in the bottom of this pile while Dean R. Fucking Koontz is voted to the top. You people are the worst.

Science Fiction
WINNER: Pierce Brown, Golden Son
WHAT IT IS: “Hey, I hear kids are really into stories about a kid who doesn’t know stuff learning stuff and then overthrowing a government! Let’s focus-market this thing into existence!” That sentence becomes more annoying when you realize that it’s not only what happened here, but that this book got more than twice the number of votes of the runner-up, the infinitely more worthy Seveneves.
WHAT IT SAYS: That voters do pretty well for the most part (almost every other book in this category that got enough votes to make the list would’ve been a less-infuriating winner, although Station Eleven should’ve gotten enough votes to make the list and didn’t), but when it comes to picking a winner, are infuriatingly susceptible to marketing.

Romance
WINNER: Colleen Hoover, Confess
WHAT IT IS: I’m going to have to punt, here. I know so little about Romance as a genre that you can write what I do know on a post-it note and still have room for a couple of phone numbers. To the romance-heads in my readership, I apologize, and let me know how this book shapes up.
WHAT IT SAYS: That the Goodreads readership has more opinions about Romance books than me (which is basically inevitable).

Fantasy
WINNER: Neil Gaiman, Trigger Warning: Short Fictions and Disturbances
WHAT IT IS: The latest Neil Gaiman short story collection. Too many poems, but Gaiman has grown into a predictably good writer, and TW is no exception.
WHAT IT SAYS: That people like Neil Gaiman enough that I don’t have to consider the inky black abyss of the other titles voted into contention in this category. Also that not enough people read books by Kelly Link. Why are you people not reading books by Kelly Link?

Historical Fiction
WINNER: Kristin Hannah, The Nightingale
WHAT IT IS: A book about Nazis and France and stuff. I know only slightly more about Historical Fiction than I do about Romance.
WHAT IT SAYS: I mean, it’s not necessarily a bad thing that we remember nazis all the time. That’s probably important.

Mystery & Thriller
WINNER: Paula Hawkins, The Girl on the Train
WHAT IT IS: The popular literature sensation of 2015, really. I mean, there’s some more to say in the next (and last) category about that book, but this one is, of all the non-sequels-to-American-classics, the 900 lb. gorilla of books in 2015. Sort of in the less-problematic-Gone-Girl vein, it’s probably not a surprise that this took off the way it did, but it’s also not a surprise at all to see it at the head of this category.
WHAT IT SAYS: I mean, we do love tense mysteries about normal people in over their heads and also tragic backstories. This was probably a shoo-in, honestly.

Fiction
WINNER: Harper Lee, Go Set a Watchman
WHAT IT IS: Oh come on, you know what Go Set a Watchman is.
WHAT IT SAYS: That the vestigial monoculture can still rise up and be into something, given the proper circumstances for that something. In this case, it’s Go Set a Watchman, even despite the…uh…challenging nature of the contents. Especially where books are concerned.


8 Tiny Lists for Hanukkah Day 7


8 Best Album Reissues
1. The Craw Box Set, whih, as far as I’m aware, is just called Craw
2. Ork Records, New York, New York
3. Swans – Love of Life/White Light From the Mouth of Infinity
4. The Velvet Underground – The Complete Matrix Tapes
5. Led Zeppelin – Physical Graffiti
6. Bikini Kill – Revolution Girl Style Now
7. Swans – Filth
8. XTC – Oranges & Lemons


8 Tiny Lists for Hanukkah Day 4

8 Best Podcast Episodes

1. U Talkin U2 To Me – “U2 Talk 2 U”
2. WTF with Marc Maron – Barack Obama
3. With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus – “The Tom Leykis Radio Program”
4. Comedy Bang! Bang! – “Heynong Man”
6. Home of the Brave – “Donald Trump Supporters”
5.The Dead Authors Podcast – L. Ron Hubbard Pts I & II
7. Secret Skin – Dessa

8. Shots Fired! – Kevin Martin


8 Tiny Lists for Hanukkah Day 3

8 Best Holidays
1. Diwali
2. Purim
3. Labor Day (because sometimes it’s my birthday)
4. Canadian Thanksgiving (because it’s a month earlier than American Thanksgiving, which gets it out of the range of pre-Christmas and allows it to be its own thing)
5. Christmas Eve (Christmas ends too early and is full of obligations besides)
6. Carnival
7. Freedom Day (Freedom Freedom Freedom Oy!)
8. Easter


8 Tiny Lists for Hanukkah Day 2


8 Best Works of Fiction I Read in 2015
NB: This is fiction, and not all-inclusive, mostly because it feels kind of tawdry to rank non-fiction, much of which is sociopolitical or autobiographical, things that I don’t really feel like ranking without at least a layer of remove (i.e. I feel no such compunction about it being a film because a film is a collaborative, compromised form, whereas a book is a pretty much direct expression. Mostly. Although not completely. You know what I mean. Also, these books weren’t published in 2015, I just read them in 2015.


1. Kelly Link – Get in Trouble

2. Cixin Liu – The Three-Body Problem
3. David B & Pierre Filu – The Best of Enemies
4. Galit & Gilad Seliktar – Farm 54
5. Leslye Walton – The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender
6. Angela Slatter – The Bitterwood Bible
7. Lorrie Moore – Self-Help
8. Ed Piskor – Wizzywig


8 Tiny Lists for Hanukkah Day 1

NB: I know this first one is late. Blame my inability to properly use the “post-in-advance” feature thingy. Whoopsie.

8 Best Live Shows of 2015
1. Two Cow Garage (Beachland Tavern)
2. Lightning Bolt (Beachland Ballroom)
3. Dan Deacon (Grog Shop)
4. Pharmakon (Now That’s Class)
5. All Dogs (Mahall’s)
6. Shilpa Ray (Beachland Tavern)
7. Herzog (Euclid Tavern)
8. Black Milk (Grog Shop)

HM: I saw Two Cow Garage a bunch this year, and the Beachland show is the one standing in for the rest. Also the Replacements/Two Cow Garage show at the Newport that got cancelled almost made the list despite not actually, technically, happening.