Really, it does actually contain 96.5% more wub wub. And also everything else you could ever want a video game to contain. It’s a bunch of times better than the first one, which was already pretty awesome, it seems to have been put together with all of the right things in mind, and it’s funnier than most films. Only over a longer period of time. We don’t generally deal in video game reviews over here at Ohio Needs a Train, but if we did, this would have gotten one slobbery, back-of-the-throat celebfellation, at least from me. Buy a copy. Then buy another copy for your friends, because if you’re playing it alone, you’re missing some of the good parts. But even if you’re a sad, lonely cockroach who doesn’t have any friends, pick it up and shoot stuff. You’ll be glad you did. Actually, it was really hard to not make this the five coolest things that are Borderlands this week, but I’ve been so sporadic about these posts as it is, that I thought I’d branch the fuck out.
2. The Clash of the Titans that ends in a cookbook
Because, really, what makes you want to buy food more than “the guy from Smash Mouth eats this?” On the plus side, if I ever need a recipe that will help me come to terms with having to deal with the miserable fact of the shattered remains of a career based on being as inoffensive and willing to sell my good-natured manufactured nonsense to literally every bidder, I know exactly the book I’m going to buy. Thanks Smash Mouth and Guy Fieri! Also, I hope each of Sammy Haggar’s recipes consists of nothing more than Cabo Wabo tequila, in varying increments.
3. R. Stevens eats a bunch of bacon
I don’t know what it is about this video that made me incapable of not watching all thirteen (!) minutes of it in a sitting. It’s just a bunch of webcomics dudes, one of whom is eating entirely too much bacon as a result of a kickstarter thing. Now, I’m as sick of bacon being the punchline to every joke as the rest of you, and I suppose what makes this so satisfying is that it’s a literally, visual interpretation of the amount of bacon internet folk talk about on a regular basis.
4. The Moby Dick Big Read
Having a bunch of people read a really long book one chapter at a time is a pretty cool idea. I wonder if whoever it is that has to read the cetacity chapters ends up crying in his or her soup? Because no one is going to listen to that part. Because nobody likes that part. No, not even you. I can tell that you’re lying.
5. The Other Day’s XKCD
I realize that between this and the bacon thing, I’m sort of verging on one of those “the same thing everyone else on the internet is making me sick of hearing about” people, but it really is pretty special. You can find zoomable maps and stuff that make it easier to see what you’re doing, but really, the discovery is the really exciting part, so I implore you to go click through it on your own. Just, y’know, do it on something with a touch screen if you can – otherwise your arm is in danger of falling off.